I have no basis for my feeling other than our poor embryo quality and the fact that it didn't work before. I just have this self-protective gut feeling it's a BFN. I have tried to remain calm, and positive but am failing at the task.
I cried my eyes out last night, and prayed and prayed for acceptance. I really just want to feel 'done,' so I can move on. I know that Dave will want to keep trying, but I also think that it's mostly because that's what he thinks I want no matter what I say. How can I expect him to know what I want if I don't? Well, clearly I WANT to be pg, but you know what I mean.
We have been at this for so long, its such a huge part of our lives, I guess I might be coming to the point where enough is enough.
I am still holding out a thread of hope that I'm wrong and therefore I won't have to deal with any of it.
Please if you pray, PRAY that I will have the courage and the strength to face this and find some kind of peace.
Best,
Amy
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3 comments:
Amy ~ When is your beta? Wishing you much luck and hoping for the best for you. Whatever happens, just know we'll all be here to support you.
I'm not sure if you want to hear this, but I was convinced that IVF#2 did not work -- I had no hope whatsoever. I am praying that your feelings are WRONG. (((HUGS)))
*HUGE HUG*
Amy, I am praying that you will indeed be courageous and strong.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding.
Please, I am sooooo wishing and hoping and praying that you will indeed be pregnant.
Thinking of you, and praying for you and DH.
Many blessings and good health,
Anna
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