7w1d

I am still flying pretty high from our u/s results yesterday! Dr. Williams spent a lot of time with us after the u/s and it was really much harder to say good-bye than I expected. I have been with him, and Nancy, his nurse, for five years through some of the most difficult and rewarding days of my life! At one point, I realized I was holding the doc's hand and not Dave's! There is absolutely a bond, and I guess after all this time there should be. He thinks that the babies look very very good and released me to my OB for the duration. We saw and heard the heartbeats, although he did not tell us, and we didn't ask the heart rate. He noted that it was normal.

I am feeling physically about the same, hungry, nauseous, and unbelievably tired.

Here's what the babies are up to this week:
Week 7 of Pregnancy: Your Baby's Limbs Develop
How does your baby grow? Pretty fast, actually. At 7 weeks pregnant, your baby's length is approximately a quarter of an inch — the size of a blueberry. Sounds pretty tiny still? Consider this for a little perspective: Your baby is 10,000 times bigger now than it was at conception a month ago. The biggest fetal growth this week is your baby's head (the better to store all those smarts in), with new brain cells being generated at the rate of 100 cells per minute. How's that for a budding genius? And talking about buds, your baby is going out on a limb this week as his or her arm and leg buds begin to sprout and grow longer (and stronger), dividing into hand, arm, and shoulder segments — and leg, knee, and foot segments (though the limb buds look more like paddles than hands or feet at this early stage).
Also forming this week are your baby's mouth and tongue. And although your embryo is just one month old, it's already gone through three sets of kidneys. The ones in place now are the permanent set and are poised to begin their important work of waste management. In about a week, your baby will start producing urine. Lucky for you, there's no need for diapers (yet). As your baby matures inside you, much of that urine will be excreted into the amniotic fluid, swallowed again by your baby, and then excreted again in a continuous cycle.

Amy

Throwing caution to the wind...not exactly, but I am more confident!

We had our 7wk u/s today and we saw and heard our two babies heartbeats! I am so relieved. RE said everything looks great and we now have a 95% chance of delivering at least one baby and a 90% chance of delivering both! Those are odds I can live with. For today, I am feeling more peaceful and confident. (Remind me tomorrow!)

I'll post more details tomorrow...I'm tired!

Amy

Tomorrow will tell

I am so so so nervous for our 7wk u/s tomorrow. I know that I should be re-assured by my nausea, fatigue, sore breasts, and heartburn but I'm still sort-of waiting to find out it's all been a dream. It's not that I don't have hope, I think it's a kind-of self-preservation. Like if I worry I am somehow shielding myself if there is bad news. I have no reason to believe that anything is wrong. I have strong symptoms and I have had no more bleeding since that one spot over a week ago. I hope to feel more re-assured after our ultrasound tomorrow. The appointment is at 2:30 so I will try to update tomorrow evening.

Please continue to send prayers our way!

Amy

Employed no more...

I had decided before the results of my pregnancy test that I would leave my job at the end of the year to care for my new nephew, and my cousins daughter who is 6 months old. I won't start watching them until after the first of the year and I wanted to have a little time to myself before that begins. I gave my notice this week that my last day will be next Friday. My boss was great, the owner was great, my co-worker was NOT. She's one of those people that the world revolves around so she was accusatory. Asking WHY couldn't I have told her?! On and on about how it will affect her.
I'm still happy about my decision, but as with all changes I'm a little apprehensive.
I am still feeling very very tired and mildly nauseous.

Can't wait for Tuesday to get here!

Amy

6w-Let the Nausea Begin!

Please don't think that I'm complaining. I will happily endure every single wave of queasiness, it actually makes me feel more confident that those little ones are doing what they are supposed to!

I still have the MEGA cold that started last week. I finally went to the doctor yesterday and she gave me an antibiotic. I am starting to feel a little better.

The nausea is sort-of a wavy, sometimes heartburn feeling. It's more distracting that actually uncomfortable. I also can't stomach the thought of some foods, which is new.

I am still nervous. I hope that this next week goes by quickly, and without incident. I can't wait to see those heartbeats next Tuesday.

Here's what's up with the babies this week: (from whattoexpect.com)

Week 6 of Pregnancy: Baby's Head Takes Shape
This week your baby's crown-to-rump measurement is anywhere from a fifth to a quarter of an inch, and growing — making it the size of a sweet pea (your little sweet pea!).
During fetal development, practitioners measure embryos as small as yours from precious little crown to cute little rump. That's because as your baby grows, his or her legs will be bent, making it hard to measure the full length of the body. When you are 6 weeks pregnant, your baby's crown-to-rump measurement is anywhere from a fifth to a quarter of an inch, and growing — making it the size of a sweet pea (your little sweet pea!).
So, if your womb had a view, what would you see? The folds of tissue in the prominent bump on top (the head) are developing into your baby's jaws, cheeks, and chin. And are those little indentations on both sides of the head the adorable dimples you always hoped your baby would inherit from your mom's side of the family? No, they're ear canals in the making. Small bumps on the face will form the eyes and button nose in a few weeks time. Also taking shape this week: your baby's kidneys, liver, and lungs.

Have a great day!

Amy

Scary, but good

I hope everyone had a great holiday!!!

Ours was super busy, and of course I have come down with a terrible chest cold! I'm going to see a doctor sometime today.

As for the title, on Saturday after I got home from acupuncture I noticed a spot of bright red blood when I wiped. Of course I was terrified, but I tried to remain calm. I called the RE and he assured me that it is very common, but told me if I was scared I could come in on Sunday morning for an u/s. I rested for most of the afternoon Saturday and have not had any more bleeding.
We went for the u/s Sunday which was 5w5d. Before he preformed the scan he told us what to expect. He said that he felt it was too early for a heartbeat. He said he would like to see a gestational sac in the uterus and maybe we could see a yolk sac inside it which would be a very good sign.
He scanned and said "there's a nice looking sac in the uterus, and there's another one!" Both pregnancies had visible yolk sacs, but he was right that it was too early for heartbeats. After the scan he explained all about vanishing twin syndrome, and we know the risks, but for now TWINS!!!!

So, for now everything is good and we're scheduled for our 7wk u/s on Dec 9. I'm still nervous, but taking it one day at a time.

Amy

Happy Thanksgiving

I want to wish everyone a very happy Thanksgiving!

I am so very grateful for the blessings in my life.

Amy

5 weeks

It seems crazy that I'm five weeks pregnant and just found out last week! The heartburn hasn't really gotten worse, but the fatigue sure has. I could fall asleep as I type this! I have a slightly sore throat today, but I think it's because I was really stuffy last night and may have slept with my mouth open!

I am really excited for Thanksgiving and I'm going to try and get to bed super early tonight and tomorrow so that I'll be rested up, even though I am relatively sure that none of my family will let me do much of anything anyway!

Dave and I are going shopping on Friday will all the crazies and I can't wait for that either! I'm getting my first NEW washer and dryer! My parents got me a used set when I went to college eons ago and while it still chugs along its not very efficient. The set I've had my eye on for awhile is going to be on sale Friday and with the baby(ies) I think its time.

Speaking of the baby(ies) here's what's going on this week: (from parentsconnect.com)

Baby's microscopic heart begins to beat this week—although it won't be detectable with one of those cool Dopplers for a few weeks, so you'll have to wait a little longer to hear that satisfying "whoosh-whoosh" you're so anxious for. Here's what else is under construction: With the beating of the heart, blood will begin to circulate throughout the body. Your baby's first organ system will be up and running! The beginnings of the brain; the cardiovascular, nervous and reproductive systems; as well as all other major systems are under way. Your baby's new digs—the amniotic sac and the placenta are still forming at this point. All that high-speed development and your baby is only 2 millimeters long—about the size of a sesame seed.

Thanks for all the continued support!

Amy

3rd beta is in!

A huge sigh of relief!

3rd beta is 2383. We wanted to see numbers between 1250-1950 so these are great!

Ultrasound is scheduled for 12/9 at 2:30. I also got to schedule some ob appts! That's really freaky for me!!!!

Over the past few days the gravity of this has started to hit me. I am so so grateful that sometimes I cannot stop the tears. I thank God every day. I never imagined the humility that this blessing would bring. I spent a long time struggling with the 'why me' aspect of infertility, it took me a long time to understand that if there is a why, its not for me to understand.

I sorta feel that same way now, I use an online support group and there are so so many deserving women there. These women, and many of you that visit my blog, have supported and encouraged me thru some of the darkest days of my life and we've never even met. I feel like 'why me' in a totally different way. I'm not saying that I would give this up for anything, but it just makes me wonder WHY once again.

Along with all of the Thanksgiving prayers I offer up this week I will be sending up my requests for their (your) peace and for resolution of their struggles, whatever that may be.

Please join me.

Amy

Not too much to report

Today went pretty much just as I predicted yesterday. My Mom and Cousins came to help and we're now all ready for Turkey Day.

I had a lot of trouble sleeping last night. I woke up at 2am and couldn't get back to sleep until 6. I slept from 6-7:30 and was up again. I hope to get some good sleep tonight. I don't think anything was bothering me, but who knows.

I go for my final beta tomorrow morning and so long as its good they'll schedule my first u/s. I am excited but nervous, still waiting on that shoe to drop!

Amy

Love Family Thanksgiving

Today was our 'Thanksgiving' with Dave's family and we took the opportunity to share our good news. It's so much fun!!!!! They were all very excited, they know how long we've prayed for this news.

Dave has 8 living brothers (of 9) and they are all married, so it makes for a full house, but that's exactly what I love about it. We had all the traditional stuff, plus one of my sister's in law made a delicious chocolate oreo cake! YUM!

It was really great to visit with everyone, but now I'm beat. I just haven't had my pre-ER energy level return.

Tomorrow is shaping up to be just as busy! My Mom and a couple of my cousins are coming over to help prep for Thanksgiving. My Mom is actually going to really scrub my bathrooms, which I am afraid to do yet. (All the bending and stretching.) Maybe I'm being too cautious, but I don't want any regrets. My cousins will help with the turkey, which I always pre-bake and freeze, and they will also help with pies and homemade noodles. I normally do it on my own, but can't with the lifting restriction and they are all more than happy to pitch in.

I love this time of the year. I enjoy my large family so much--we are lucky to all still be within about an hour of one another. I am looking so forward to Thursday.

Physically I'm feeling better today. Mild, infrequent heartburn, and some fatigue. I had some minor cramping this morning, but I think I might have been mildly constipated (sorry TMI) because it's all better now. I have not had any more brownish discharge.

I went to acupuncture today, and while I was able to relax and enjoy the first half, I was restless for the second. I think I might have been pre-occupied with party stuff.

Off to bed---enjoy the rest of your weekend!

Amy

STARVING

FOOD...

That's all that I can think of today. I don't think I've even been so hungry in my life! Perfect timing for Thanksgiving! I am trying to eat stuff that's not too horrible for me and I'm also trying to increase my protein intake without having to resort to shakes. I had bariatric surgery about 5 years ago and now that I'm pregnant I have to really be careful that I get enough calcium and protein. It's hard though because I also want to keep my fats down. I'm sure I'll figure it out!

I'm pretty tired today, I slept good but woke up way too early. Still have mild heartburn.

I go for a third beta on Monday!

Amy

2nd beta results are in!

The number today is 491!!!

We were looking for a 66-100% increase from Tuesday's 179, so something from 280-358. 491 is awesome!!

I had a tiny bit of thin brown spotting yesterday, from what I expect is implantation. I asked the nurse and she said no worries, it's very, very common; so for now I'm not going to worry about it. Jill and Julie (whose blogs I follow) both had it and had beautiful babies!

Dave is very excited to know how many little ones we've got! I KNOW he's hoping for twins and while I think that it would be great, I'll feel blessed with any number of healthy babies.

Physically I'm feeling mostly ok. I have some mild twinges in my abdomen from time to time, increasing heartburn, and am still very very weepy. I love every minute of it!


Amy

Cautious Optimism

I am still over-joyed, but a bit more cautious today. I think I will feel better tomorrow after I make sure that this number is going in the right direction.

I feel about the same physically, although I have a little more heartburn today. Dave is, of course, very excited and suddenly very protective! We are trying hard to enjoy this and not stress-out, but it's proving easier said than done!!!


KEEP PRAYING, PLEASE!

Amy

Hard to find the words...

For me speechless is rare!

The results of my beta are in and its POSITIVE! My beta was 179 today. I'll have it re-checked on Thursday and again on Monday, and there are no guarantees, but it's a good strong start!

It's so hard for me to put all my gratitude into words.

I am feeling such a strange mix of emotions. Joy, of course, awe, shock, amazement, fear, relief. I know it's just the first hurdle and it's very early, but I've gotten back one emotion I've been seriously lacking in the past week, HOPE.

It feels so good think again about 'being pregnant' and actually 'having a baby.' In all of these last days of obsessing I have not allowed myself to venture into that territory.

Thanks to all of you out there who I don't even 'know,' and those I know and love, for your patience with my whining, your compassion for my pain, and your constant support through this whole process. I cannot wait to share the ups and downs of this new and exciting experience with you all.

I feel like it failed...

I have no basis for my feeling other than our poor embryo quality and the fact that it didn't work before. I just have this self-protective gut feeling it's a BFN. I have tried to remain calm, and positive but am failing at the task.
I cried my eyes out last night, and prayed and prayed for acceptance. I really just want to feel 'done,' so I can move on. I know that Dave will want to keep trying, but I also think that it's mostly because that's what he thinks I want no matter what I say. How can I expect him to know what I want if I don't? Well, clearly I WANT to be pg, but you know what I mean.
We have been at this for so long, its such a huge part of our lives, I guess I might be coming to the point where enough is enough.
I am still holding out a thread of hope that I'm wrong and therefore I won't have to deal with any of it.

Please if you pray, PRAY that I will have the courage and the strength to face this and find some kind of peace.


Best,
Amy

Another busy weekend

Will is amazing!

He has a cleft chin and these HUGE hands for a newborn.

I am so happy for them!

My weekend is my typical mad rush! Tonight after a quick stop home for a shot, I am meeting my sister to pick up my niece(13) and nephew(17) who are both coming to help me out this weekend. I still have a lifting restriction and am supposed to only do 'light' housework (whatever that is.)

We are having Dave's family for 'Thanksgiving' on Sat the 22nd, my family on Thanksgiving, and a small dinner party on Saturday the 29th, so I need to get my house in order. I also want to make and freeze some Christmas cookie dough. I have acupuncture at 11am tomorrow and want to stop by the hospital for at least a few minutes.

Dave has decided that NOW is the time to re-build a closet on the landing that needs to be done before painting and laying new floors. I am terrified of the mess he'll make.

I'm nuts, when my house is a mess it makes me a nervous wreck. We have COMPLETELY remodeled a 1901 farmhouse so one would think I would be accustomed to it, but I'm not.

I hope, with help from the kids that I'll make some good headway this weekend so there won't be so much to do next weekend.

I'm feeling pretty good--still some mild cramping and still very hungry all day. Today I had some mild tummy queasiness, but nothing remarkable.

More soon.

Amy

He's here!

My new little nephew is here!!

William David arrived this afternoon via an unexpected c-section. Momma and baby are doing just fine. He is 8lbs 6oz, 20.5 inches long, and has a head full of hair!

I can't wait to meet him after work today.

I am feeling ok. Having a work issue that's bugging me, but overall feeling good. I still have some crampy feelings, but nothing painful.

More soon.

Amy

More Encouraging News

While progesterone results are not an indication of pregnancy, higher progesterone results correlate with better pregnancy outcomes.

They want the level to be around 15. My level came back at 28.8. It's NOT a predictor of outcome, but it does show that we're definitely in the game.

Today, I'm tired and still ravenous.

My brother and SIL are going in to the hospital today to have their first baby! I'm really excited to meet my new little nephew!

Amy

No frosties

I just talked to the lab and he said that even though they did continue to grow that they had not reached full blastocyst stage by today so they won't be frozen.

I am glad that they continued to grow, but I am dissappointed that we don't have any back-ups to freeze.

I am feeling even better physically today. I have some mild cramping and pulling sensations in my abdomen, nothing painful.

I've also been ravenous ALL DAY. I cannot seem to get or stay full!

Please keep your prayers coming for a good strong progesterone result tomorrow!

Amy